(Posted by Mr. George Mathew who is the CEO of a new-age preschool chain based at Trivandrum called “The Wonder Years Preschool”. The author is a researcher on child development and can be contacted at george.mathew@thewonderyears.co.in. For more details please visit http://www.thewonderyears.co.in)

As a person running a preschool, I am often at the receiving end of the ire of parents and, particularly grandparents. Now, before you go off and jump to the conclusion that this is because of some neglect on our part, let me tell you, nothing can be further from the truth.

Mostly it is simple things like snacks not fully eaten one day (maybe the child was not hungry or not in a mood to eat that day) or dresses/shoes dirty (well, kids are kids; they are supposed to play and get their dresses/shoes dirty!) or the school van being 5 minutes late to pick up the child (our roads are not exactly designed for perfect timing during commute).

Don’t get me wrong. We love feedback. We love it that they take the effort to tell us because it is an opportunity for us to correct ourselves. What I have a problem with is how some of them put this across to us. Sometimes people can be very rude and hurtful while giving this feedback.

Now, as an adult, I can discern which of these feedbacks are constructive and which are not. I have the freedom to choose to accept some and reject others based on my assessment of the situation. But many a times these feedbacks are given in the presence of children and they might not be in a position to assess the situation like us adults. To them, it will be an example set by adults on how they should talk to others. And when they see the same pattern repeated over and over again, they will pick up on them and start behaving in a similar way.
In most cases, unwanted behaviour in children can be traced directly back to parents or other family members they are constantly in communication with.

Teaching children values is a very personal exercise. Most of us want our children to grow up as good human beings. The problem is, the definition of “good human being” itself is debatable. It is heavily linked to cultural and social backgrounds.

Who is a good human being? Someone who does not break the law? Yes, in the strictest form of the definition. Or is it someone who helps others? Again, yes. But the type of help matters. So definitions these are subjective.
To me, a good human being is someone who treats others with respect and courtesy, someone who will step up in the time of need to help a fellow human being. Those are the kind of future citizens I wish this country to have. Not ones who differentiate based on colour, creed, caste or social backgrounds. But invariably, by the way we act and interact, we teach our children otherwise. While we want our children to grow up as good human beings, we fail at setting good examples ourselves.

Remember, our children grow up watching us closely. Every action of ours affects their thinking. So if we want the best for our kids, it is high time we changed our behaviour to reflect that change.

(Mr. George Mathew is the CEO of a new-age preschool chain based at Trivandrum called “The Wonder Years Preschool”. The author is a researcher on child development and can be contacted at george.mathew@thewonderyears.co.in. For more details please visit http://www.thewonderyears.co.in)