(This article was submitted by Mr. George Mathew who is the CEO of a new-age preschool chain based at Trivandrum called “The Wonder Years Preschool”. The author is a researcher on child development and can be contacted at george.mathew@thewonderyears.co.in. For more details please visit http://www.thewonderyears.co.in)

Why is it that as a species we have this almighty aversion to failure? Is failure so bad that its very mention evokes hushed murmurs and seedy looks? Why is it that we don’t realize that success and failure go hand in hand? In fact, we fail and succeed umpteen number of times every day of our life. Don’t believe me?

OK , let’s do a simple mental exercise. Think back on your day and honestly write down your successes and failures. How many have you got? I got around 40 – 50 successes and failures each. Surprised? Finding it difficult to come up with even a few?

Why do you think that is so ? Well, it has got to do with how we define the terms success and failure.
The Webster’s Dictionary defines success (in this context) as “an event that accomplishes its intended purpose” and failure as “an event that does not accomplish its intended purpose”

So, in a sense, anything that we do (or do not do) can end in a success or a failure. Simple. For example, I am driving along and have to overtake a vehicle in front of me. If I do that, it is a success. If not, it’s a failure.
When we see things in this light, success and failure need not be that bad, right? In a way, failure is sometimes good. Going back to our example of overtaking cars, if I always try to be successful no matter what, I might end up in a bad crash. We need to let go sometimes.

I know this is over-simplifying things. But it is just to drive home the point that failure need not be all that bad and sometimes it is even desired.

This brings us back to the question – Why do we consider failure to be so bad?
I think it is because from a very young age we have been conditioned to think that failure is bad. Nowadays it is taken to such levels that some children do the unthinkable because they are unable to take the pressure.
We need to teach our children the difference between good and not-so-good failures. Good failures are the ones like the overtaking example. The not-so-good failures are the type we see in the big bad competitive world out there.
In the hyper-competitive world we live in nowadays, failure is scoffed upon… it’s taboo. But even here, what we need to teach our children is not to lose sight of the forest for the trees. We need to help them see the big picture. In the grand scheme of things, is 60% any worse than 90%? 10-15 years down the line, will it even matter?
I am not saying that we should not get our children to study hard. No, we need to encourage them to learn and understand the world around them, but at the same time we need to prepare them on how to deal with inevitable failure.
So why do children fail in certain areas? Maybe it’s not their area of interest. Maybe they did not understand the concepts as taught by their tutors. Maybe they temporarily had other things on their minds. The reasons could be endless and specific to each individual child.

Come on, let’s face it. Our children, however brilliant they are, are going to hit a roadblock sooner or later. Most of us face it at school level itself. Some parents teach their kids to look at the bigger picture and take it in their stride. They even help them see the not-so-apparent bright side of failure.
And this not-so-apparent bright side is what is most interesting about failures.

Most successful people will tell you that things did not go as per their original plan and they “failed” at it. But those failures would have made all the difference
.
Even I have many such stories of “failure”. When I finished my MBA program, I was interviewed for the post of Product Manager at Ibibo.com. After the interview, the panel promptly rejected me.
But that rejection meant that I got the opportunity to appear for BIG FM radio for the post of Cluster Head for Kerala. Eventually, I ended up thinking beyond a mere job and finally set up my schools. Looking back, I value that Ibibo.com interview more than the ones that selected me because at the end of the day, it made all the difference.

For if I was selected, I am pretty sure, with the salary package they were offering and the city I had to work in, I would never think of starting something of my own. So that rejection turned out to be one of the best blessings I have received.

Our kids will have failures… many failures over the years. Our job is to ensure that they are ready to face them when it hits. As parents, one of the most important things we can give our children is the confidence to experiment, fail, try again, fail, and repeat without having the fear of being ostracized or being rebuked.
If we can give them the confidence that, no matter what, we will be there to support them in their time of need, then we can watch them truly fly!

(Mr. George Mathew is the CEO of a new-age preschool chain based at Trivandrum called “The Wonder Years Preschool”. The author is a researcher on child development and can be contacted at george.mathew@thewonderyears.co.in. For more details please visit http://www.thewonderyears.co.in)